Friday, August 13, 2010

An Inconvenient Truth (that is, surprisingly, both true and inconvenient)

Ready for it?


Growing up, I NEVER had to mow the lawn. No, not "seldom," not "rarely." Never.

Now. I'm sure that there are lots of other adults out there who've never mown a lawn. But I am equally sure that those other adults didn't: ONE-grow up in Utah where EVERYONE has a lawn and EVERYONE makes their kids mow it, and TWO-graduate with a four-year degree in HORTICULTURE. Yeah. You begin to see the level of my pathetic-ness.

No, it wasn't until I was a real adult, with my own house and a lawn to mow, that I finally realized that at some point in my life I was probably going to have to mow a lawn. So, I did what any other self-respecting Luddite would do: I went out and bought a reel mower. (You know, those silly looking mowers with no motor that you probably thought were extinct? Yep. One of those.) I was feeling pretty good about my choice. It's earth-conscious, quiet, smells lovely (like fresh-mown grass--go fig!), and best of all, totally self-propelled, so that I can do it with the kids around without worrying about injuring one of them in a freak accident. Unfortunately, it also doesn't work when your grass is more that six inches long. Which ours is. All the time.

And that brings me to today. I decided to spare my busy husband a little and mow the lawn for him, so that on the one night he isn't at meetings, he didn't have to mow AND trim the lawn. (I know, nice, right?) Except for that whole, "I've never mown the lawn" thing. Yeah...

Let's just skip to the morals of this story:

1. It is far better to be humiliated at age 12--when you are far less likely to remember it--than age 28. And, yes, I did hear the neighbours guffaw at my 20 failed attempts at getting the thing started. Okay, that's a lie. I didn't hear them. But that doesn't mean they didn't.

2. Some of us were just meant for another era. When people used reel mowers (of whom, I am the only one left that I know) and hung their laundry outside (which a FEW other people still do--thanks, Grandma!).

3. It is ASTOUNDING how good you can feel about a really crappy "job well-done."